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What to Do at the Minyan If You Don't Know Hebrew
If you have a secret desire to attend the minyan but you think your clothes
are wrong, or you don't know Hebrew, or you're afraid you'll get called up for
an aliyah, the minyan wants to extend a special invitation to you.
Especially if you feel shy trying to start conversations at the Shabbat Kiddush,
or you're new to B'nai Emet, the minyan is a comfortable place to meet members
of the congregation in a small, informal setting. If you attend the minyan once
or twice a week for a while, you will be surprised at how many people you will
suddenly feel you know on Shabbat and at other synagogue events.
If you don't know Hebrew, there are several things you can do besides sitting
and feeling like you are the only person who has ever attended a minyan without
knowing Hebrew.
The easiest thing to do is to just start on the page where the service begins
and read along at your own speed. On a good day, someone will call out page
numbers, and if the leader forgets to do this, no one will mind if you ask the
person next to you or look pointedly at their prayer book to see where they are.
Stand up when you feel others standing up around you, and sit down when they sit
down and soon you will start to understand when you are supposed to stand up and
sit down.
Of course it's nicer to feel that you are following along up-to-speed, and you
may want to study alone with a transliterated siddur or a tape made for you by
one of the minyan leaders, but until then, you should know that no one expects
you to follow along, and no one is looking over your shoulder. Simply try to get
what you can out of the service, even if you don't know Hebrew or the service.
Attending minyan is a good opportunity to simply reflect on the prayers, your
day, people or questions you're concerned about, or anything else. You can even
space out for a long period of time and forget that you are at the minyan, until
you notice that everyone has gone home and you're alone in the room -- although
this is not likely to happen!
Another concern you might have at the morning minyan is that everyone except you
is wearing tefillin. While B'nai Emet as a Conservative congregation encourages
the wearing of tefillin, you can look around the room and notice that there are
people both with and without tefillin; there is no pressure to wear tefillin
unless/until you are comfortable with it.
In addition, newcomers to the minyan are often concerned that they will get
called up for an aliyah and they won't know what to do. You should know that you
always have the option to say "no thanks" if this happens, and no one will make
fun of you or be offended. On the other hand, there is a transliterated version
of the blessings next to the Torah, and the gabbai will be happy to help you if
you would like to give it a try. If you've never had an aliyah, the minyan can
be a small place to practice before trying it in the larger Shabbat service. Or,
you can get a copy of the transliterated blessings to practice at home, so that
the next time you are called upon, you will feel comfortable.
Many minyan-goers appreciate the deeper sense of community and connection they
experience from attending the minyan. One might not find this sense of community
by attending only on the High Holy Days or on Shabbat, because although we all
want to make our best effort to greet and welcome newcomers and strangers on
these occasions, there is something about knowing people daily over a long
period of time that is just not replaceable. It's like going to a neighborhood
cafe and getting to know the regulars.
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