Bat Mitzvah (4/2001)

B'nai Emet -> Messages -> From the President -> 2001

Bat Mitzvah: Not Just for 13-Year-Olds

April, 2001

What are your memories of your Bar or Bat Mitzvah observance? Were you inspired when you were called to the Torah for the first time and saw the proud faces of your rabbi, your family, and friends? Did your 13-year-old nerves and self-consciousness diminish your enjoyment of that special day? Or did that opportunity pass you by altogether?

I treasure the memories of my family's Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations. I love the story of my father's Bar Mitzvah-after being called to the Torah for the first time, he was given a chocolate bar, then went home to eat lunch with all the kids from the nearby orphanage who had been invited to his back yard for a picnic lunch. And my mother, whose family constituted the entire Jewish population of Hague, North Dakota, never had a chance for a formal Jewish education at all.

Against the background of my own memories and experiences, I enjoy each Shabbat service during which one of our young members is called to the Torah for the first time. Even if I don't know the young person or the family, I can feel the pride and emotion involved in that milestone observance, and I enjoy the personal stamp with which each Bar/Bat Mitzvah and family mark the service.

On Saturday, May 19, I expect to feel that pride and emotion many times over as eight B'nai Emet adults are called to the Torah for the first time as B'not Mitzvah. These women are all past the age of 13, but for various reasons, did not have a Bat Mitzvah observance at that more customary age. Some were not Jewish at that point in their lives. Some turned 13 at a time when young women did not have opportunities to participate in an egalitarian atmosphere as we have today.

The Adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah class began last fall meeting every Sunday for a two-hour class. The first hour is taught by Rabbi Abramson according to a schedule of topics ranging from theology ("Contemporary Theologians and Theologies - What is the Relevance of Judaism Today?") to prayer and the prayerbook to home observance ("Pesach - How to make your Seder Come Alive"). The hour speeds by too fast, with the students eager to question the rabbi and share their own thoughts and experiences, as he provides the information and context for the discussion. Jeanne K. enjoys the presentation of the "why's" along with the information, and she appreciates the various points of view expressed in the class. This give-and-take makes for a richer learning experience than a book, presenting only the author's perspective, can provide.

The second hour is taught by Laura B. and Sara B. During this hour, the subjects are Hebrew and synagogue skills. Each student focuses on her personal goal, whether it is chanting Haftarah or leading a portion of the Musaf service.

What motivates a group of adults, each one busy with work and family, to begin this intense work, committing every Sunday for a year along with considerable practice and independent study time? The answer is the love of Judaism, along with the desire to learn more, to acquire synagogue skills, and to experience a Bat Mitzvah celebration.

Rabbi Abramson sees these women as searching Jews. They have the maturity to explore Judaism on an adult level and find answers to grown-up questions. He acknowledges the difficulty for adults in doing these things for the first time. Each of these women must overcome intimidation, the challenge of language acquisition for an adult, and the difficult demands of juggling priorities. And even with family support, each class member has to find the strength and commitment within herself-without parents forcing her to get on the Talmud Torah bus. Jeanne K., who will chant Haftarah at the B'not Mitzvah service, told me she has worked with tapes and with teachers, but her secret to learning is constant repetition. In fact, her day care children have begun to sing snatches of her Haftarah, having heard it so often.

Rabbi Abramson has great admiration for his students for accepting this challenge. And they return the compliment-they love the class and the chance to interact with the rabbi in this more personal setting. They appreciate Laura's patience and help. Some expressed the hope that the class will continue next year.

So, along with Babe N., Anita S.'s mother, who always wanted Anita to celebrate a Bat Mitzvah, and the many other proud family members and friends, I look forward to the inspiration and admiration I will feel on May 19, when I hear this group of dedicated women observe this meaningful milestone in their lives.

Bonnie Berezovsky

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