| . |
|
 |
|
|
|
| B'nai Emet -> Messages -> From the President -> 2000March, 2000A Time of Personal LossAs many of you are aware, during this past January, my father, Sidney Lorber, died at the age of 83. Sidney had deep, significant connections as a lifelong Minneapolis resident, an active member of the Jewish community, an attorney for 55 years with a single law firm, and a devoted friend and family man. Of course, to me, his most important attribute was that he was my dad. He was slight in stature, modest and gentle, but powerful in intellect and integrity. He was the one I turned to time and again, as a child and as an adult, for reassurance, advice, support, information, and a clear, rational analysis of any problem. Fortunately for Sidney and for me, he retained his sharp mind and physical independence until he fell down three weeks before his death. The fall that shattered his bones also shattered a big piece of my life. We all know the truth of the cliché, "life goes on." After a while, even a grieving individual notices that the laundry needs to be washed, bills need to be paid, work at the office keeps piling up, families have continuing needs. I'm told that many people in grief resent the fact that the world goes on as if nothing has happened. For me, doing my usual things provides me with distraction and relief and also the comfort that the world does go on, even when my interior world is in pieces. During these past difficult months, our B'nai Emet community played a major role. Zelda Rae and the Bikkur Cholim committee visited my father and my family in the hospital, reminding us frequently of synagogue support and presence. One of the nurses, during an early morning phone update, informed me "Rabbi Zelda" had already visited. B'nai Emet people phoned, visited, and let me know in many ways how much they cared. Since my father's death, I have been overwhelmed by the comfort offered by our B'nai Emet community. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the visits, food, help, sympathy, cards, memorial donations, and care. A number of dedicated members have this year re-energized the Chesed Committee, providing a wonderful family meal during shiva. I am grateful to the committed individuals who show up every day, or as often as they can, to pray at the daily minyan to make sure mourners can say Kaddish. I thank those of you who knew my father and took the time to tell me a memory about Sidney. The things I have learned from you about my father are precious gifts. Rabbi Abramson provided tremendous support to my father, my family, and me. We were strengthened and consoled by his calls and hospital visits, his sensitive and respectful words to my dad, his presenting the Jewish perspective on the agonizing decisions I made, supporting me through the consequences of those decisions, and sitting with us at my father's bedside, sometimes very late at night, through tears, conversation, laughter, silence, and pain. Rabbi Abramson's eulogy was eloquent and profound. It will provide Sidney's grandchildren with a meaningful way to keep his memory alive. Many of you have listened me to bemoan the tendency of some members of the Jewish community to look at synagogue membership as if it were just another consumer purchase, quantifying the benefits of membership and comparing them with out-of-pocket costs of membership. All that I received from B'nai Emet, at a time of great personal loss, can never be measured in monetary terms. The gifts I received from you all are priceless and unforgettable. |
|
